#i also have an idea about post-mortem children

[0mega-x]

The idea of nations being born and dying and their relations to one another.

I have no idea how it works in canon, if Himaruya ever showed it. But I do have some headcanons about it.

How are nations born, and how do they die ? I do think nations cannot get pregnant or get someone pregnant. They are infertile. The way they are born ? Nobody knows, people just end up finding them and realise the little one is immortal. Why are they born ? It depends. They can be born from the formation of a state, a new settled area, or from the genesis of an ethnic group if they don't have a proper state or subdivision. Alfred would be born from the first European settlements in Norh America at around 1607. But he wouldn't be found out until much, much later.

Nations aren't born as babies, though. I think they would have a "minimal age" any nation in a set region would be born at, probably ranging between 3 to 8 years old. In Ludwig's time, he would be born at 8 years old.

Nations are almost immortal. They can't die from old age or disease. They age very slowly and I headcanon that there's an age where they stop aging. They can die, though. If their entity is dissolved, disestablished or their population is wiped out, they can die. See HRE. Imagine a Tyrol character. I would imagine they'd die shortly after 1919, leaving two children, the northern and southern parts (I also wonder what would be this Tyrol character's interaction with a Trentino character...).

Now, how are nations related? I say they have blood relations. I hc that nations can only have one biological parent, but they can take physical traits from others that have greatly influenced them. What happens if two nations are related but didn't know of their relations for x reason ? They just know. They have a "feeling". A feeling that tells them that this person is not just a stranger to them. How would Normandy know she is related to the Scandinavians? Magic? I also imagine nations might have a different kind of relationship between families than regular humans. Look at Antonio and his 1082038108302 children, how the fuck is he supposed to have a relationship with all of them? He doesn't. Both would be aware of their connections, but it doesn't guarantee anything. I imagine it would be much more common within the nations to be closer to non-relatives and relatives. France and the Frankish Empire might have had that, no blood relations, but still very close. However, I don't thing this "feeling" would apply to any relatives further than siblings/parents/children. Maybe aunt and uncles ? But definitely not cousins.

Anyway..... IT'S FINALLY THE HOLIDAYS WOOOOH!

Fuck I have 3 graded homework for the week after the holidays

[harrypottermovieproblems]

Hello, all!

We find ourselves at a funny little crossroads today. There is officially an HBO television adaptation of Harry Potter in the works, one with a clearly stated commitment to open casting that could create an inroad to character representations aligning with a great many fans' longtime hopes and dreams for Harry and Hermione especially. Ten years ago, this would have been everything we could have ever hoped for in this fandom. Today, news of this new television show cannot bring joy.

The movie adaptation has brought many book fans a great deal of frustration over the years (hence the creation of this blog); while being greatly beloved by an entire generation, it simultaneously dropped the ball in many areas focusing on characterization and worldbuilding. And yet the faces of that film franchise - the actors of the main trio especially - have been invaluable voices in the public struggle to push back the flood of anti-trans rhetoric free flowing from JK Rowling's social media accounts.

On the other hand, we finally have a long-form adaptation of the series on the horizon, but it comes less than fifteen years after the end of the original movie series and therefore inevitably falls into the exhausting position of being yet another franchise remade too soon. And most importantly, of course, the main and inescapable effect of its creation will be lining the pockets of a woman who has been actively and enthusiastically supporting bigotry against women - both trans and cis - in society and in politics.

There have been rumors that Warner Brothers is trying to buy the rights to the entirety of Harry Potter from JK Rowling, and if true, it has to be admitted - ironically, given the nature of this blog - that I hope they succeed. If the choice is between lack of artistic fulfillment in the portrayal of a fictional world or real-life financial support of a woman actively making the world a more dangerous place for vulnerable populations, there is only one choice to support.

A few years ago, I started writing a detailed post that was a general post-mortem on our collective fanship of JK Rowling, and never completed it due to general feelings of exhaustion, disgust, and feelings that it was redundant. But briefly:

Many years ago, JK Rowling made a post on her personal website about her portrayal of Aunt Marge's bulldogs. She was dissatisfied with how she had written them, because she hadn't known a lot about bulldogs at the time and hadn't taken the care to portray them in a way that did them any justice. While she meant no harm, she's since learned better and wishes, in retrospect, that she had portrayed them differently.

When I think about JK Rowling, I think about that post a lot.

Even before her newest and most outspoken TERF era, even prior to all of the issues involved in the Fantastic Beasts spinoff series, JK Rowling wrote a beloved children's series that was seen as highly progressive upon publication but also contained a number of elements that have aged, shall we say, very poorly. Some of these were markers of the time when Harry Potter was originally written - many things from the 90's have aged badly - and some of them are down to the personal ignorance of the author, whether or not you assume that ignorance came hand-in-hand with malicious intent.

She could have spoken out about this if she wished - you know, like she did with the fucking bulldogs, to say that she had no ill-intent at the time but that would write these elements differently today if she had the chance - but as far as I'm aware, she has not. In fact, despite having endless wealth and resources at her disposal now, as opposed to the original start of her writing journey as a single mother scribbling ideas on cafe napkins, her portrayal of delicate issues of things like race, gender, and sexuality in her writing has only gotten worse.

The 'JK Rowling was always a secret conservative' rhetoric is strong, especially on Tumblr, and while I understand it, I genuinely think that it is misguided. The woman spent most of her life voting in favor of and speaking out for leftist and progressive politics. We (progressives) are not immune from propaganda, radicalization, or being raging fucking bigots. However she votes now, whatever idiots she is friends with now, the call very much started from inside the house on this one.

So, to circle back to the original point of this post:

This new HBO television series, in a best-case scenario, could take all of the tone-deaf sociopolitical issues with the original novels and fix them. It could take all of the creative issues with the movie franchise and fix those too. It could give us a diverse cast and tell an emotional story that does credit to what so many people held dear about the book series while growing up.

(I doubt it will, but it could.)

And yet this would still be a thing that on some level brought me no joy, because at the end of the day, it would also be putting pallets and pallets of cash into JK Rowling's pocket as she continues to dig her way down the conservative rabbit hole instead of fixing any of the mistakes of her early writing career.

Gross.

xoxo

[boyfridged]

Do you have any more thoughts about Alfred and how to make him a more interesting character? And there's this tag "Alfred Pennyworth is a Saint", got any opinions about that? And what about some different portrayals like the Gotham Tv version, the multiple versions from comics (usually either harsh, sarcastic and emotionally repressed stoic or openly affectionate, offering actual advice and kind), or the super nice and kind ones from the various movies (live-action and animated)?

there's a lot of contradictions when it comes to alfred's character, even within the scope of individual works (that including current canon... post-mortem too): he's supposed to be both harsh and kind, extremely competent and yet - out of picture to a degree, both fundamentally against the idea of batman (mocking it at times) and supportive of it, professional and a parental figure, conservative in appearances but progressive in acts... most importantly, he plays a role of a "sage" -- he is supposed to be simply right.

but you probably already know -- i'm very interested in characters being wrong.

and i'd say the best angle to approach alfred is simply based on the question of who he needs to be in bruce's story for it to work at all. and one of these requirements is that he is not really there. he cannot enter the action too often, even if writers want you to believe he's invincible. he cannot truly make the residents of the manor a family -- there ought to be some distance, because it's bruce's job to be a father (this is interesting in moench's pre-crisis run also... where it is very clear that alfred leaves raising jay to bruce.) and, most importantly, for bruce to become batman -- alfred ought to fail him to some degree.

and i reckon that's why we don't see much of bruce's childhood. there are some conflicting narratives irt leslie and alfred, even in the 80s - on the one hand, it is suggested that they *both* do not know how to handle bruce as a child; on the other hand, you're supposed to believe that there was no way to do that (and to absolve them of their fault). but i'm interested in a compromise... in acknowledging that none of them were equipped nor ready to take that responsibility, but also realising that there was more they could do. because i think that, for example, alfred's conservatism did intrude on the task of providing care. for example -- in some versions of bruce's childhood (isn't it fascinating that we don't even have one official version at this point in canon... it's always so elusive. but that's a topic for another post) he is sent to a boarding school. and that works. he's an old british guy, of course he'd think sending a child even at age 8-10 would be not only normal but also a good idea.

also -- alfred at times comments on bruce's inability to perform house chores, which is obviously a comic relief. but it's interesting because it's alfred who raised him. if bruce does not do his own laundry, or can't cook - that's quite literally on alfred. and again, i do believe it is plausible that alfred would not teach him any of these things. once more, the reason for that is his conservatism.

what i just said does not negate that alfred is a father to bruce and family to other children raised in the manor. however, i think that his own realisation that it is the case should come with some regret... &that his biases and the role of bruce's enabler are flaws that could make him interesting if it was take seriously.

however, there's still plenty of gaps that are hard to fill - for instance, why alfred is a butler at all, given his background (there were obv some attempts at explaining it -- i wouldn't say they were very successful). i know some of it is simply a matter of editors and writers throwing bits of amusing/surprising lore into the story without really considering the wider picture, but it is frustrating. his development was, after all, quite strange -- if you read first issues of batman/tec, you will notice he himself was mostly a comic relief. the whole concept of his links to military, for example, came later... so i had quite high hopes for pennyworth (the show) in that regards, but it did disappoint me. i wish we simply got a well-written mini?

a complete sidenote -- i also quite like how close alfred & damian grow to be. it makes a lot of sense (i do think alfred would be partial to the "biological" child + the way alfred carries himself & the routine he sticks to would be comforting for damian i think...)

[tokyogruel]

Shidou! 1, 2, 5, and 9!

1. favorite song lyrics?

i answered this one here! and kind of glad i did, it got loonngg,,

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

(lines/translation taken from the milgram wiki)

molech:

"Es ...... Even if this is referred to as an interrogation, at this moment in time, I don't plan on using violence. In addition to that, any falsehood or silence from you will be acknowledged."

and later....

"Es Don't you dare… pat my head like that! *Kicks*

Shidou Nnngh...! P-Please hold on for a second...!"

"Es Shut up! Out of all the prisoners thus far, you're the one I can't stand the most. Going all pessimistic like that, running your mouth as if you knew everything, acting as if you're oh-so mature, and never budging from that composed expression of yours—the nerve of you! On top of that, you even went so far as to pat my head. Do you think I'm your child? Do you?! Don't fuck with me!"

these arent even really shidous lines though DXFGCHVJB

aesculapius:

"Es You're a doctor. I've deduced that your murders happened in the context of medical procedures.

Shidou ..."

,,,

"Shidou I need to be punished… but I need to stay alive, or young lives will be lost. I… I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think… that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven. Despite being so riddled with sins…!"

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

well, what are we defining as his crime? thats a complicated answer

heres some theories i have, and my feelings on them:

the organ thief theory:

my interpretation of this one is that shidou did not pull the plug on braindead patients, or botch surgeries intentionally. shit like that can be tracked in the medical field- and will be stopped, swiftly. my idea is that shidou may twist his words, or try very very hard to convince families to pull the plug on their loved ones. "there are people who need the organs your family member can provide. youd be doing what's right"

i... dont know. i dont think i really would forgive him for this, depending on how he goes about it. it's important, yes, to tell people that donating organs is worthwhile post-mortem. but the decision to pull the plug on someone you love should not be over-influenced by some jackass who happens to have a degree in fuckery.

the "my wife and kids" theory:

(for clarification, i believe his family is an intricate day-dream of his, rather than his reality, but for this ill be speaking as if his family is real)

my interpretation of this one is that shidou took the heart of one of his children to give to his wife after an accident. i would forgive him for this- if his child is beyond saving but his wife could survive with a transplant, he is well within his right to make that decision on behalf of his family. even if it sucks

the "drunk driver" theory:

ive mentioned this one on my blog before, but havent gone into the details of it just yet. i also need to compile my evidence for it- but im pretty confident in it.

the theory is thus: shidou gets intoxicated, perhaps to celebrate- and decides, in all his adult-brained wisdom- that its fine if he drives afterward. he ends up crashing his car, either into another car or directly into civilians. he kills a child.

i would not forgive him if this is his crime

[roseunspindle]

Naruto: Next Gen

Sasuke and Naruto get together and eventually (they may have been slightly drunk) decide to start a family via sexy-no-jutsu. Given Naruto's massive amount s of Chakra he ends up having twins (and doesn't get to tired having to hold a jutsu at least internally for nine+-months.

Sasuke has never actually been re-instated as a Konoha-nin as well, the former higher-ups did have his clan slaughtered...but he stays and helps a bit between also being a wandering spy due to his love for Naruto and belief in Naruto keeping his promises of fixing the Shinobi world. They originally traveled together as "advanced problem solvers" (they found shitty situations and made them less shitty. But Kakashi finally tells Naruto he wants to retire and will be naming him Hokage so Naruto has to stay and job shadow.

Kakashi had started making inroads on fixing things, though he's less than pleased at how much he does is literally fix previous generations shit. Sarutobi has massively fallen in his eyes. (Also he has had so many post-mortem trials because he feels he owes it to the dead for justice so they can rest, and for the living to see that their "good upright leaders" hadn't been so great.

Naruto isn't subtle about some of the changes he plans to make, such as intending to make the Hyuuga remove the curse seal on all current Hyuuga branch members and forbidding the seal from being placed on any knew members.

He and Sasuke and others of the rookie nine + team gai have discussed the subject a lot. They thinks they've come up with a way were Naruto won't be "I can tell clans how to run themselves" but still make it happen.

Slavery. It's illegal in Konoha and if Danzo can be posthumously tried for it for the seals binding the Root soldiers tongues, than the Hyuuga and their caged bird seal falls under that.

So years pass, and while Hisashi is actually relieved to agree to remove the seal, other members aren't and we have another "make hyuuga great again secret faction" form along with a "make konoha great again" faction that feels that Danzo had the right ideas.

Things are still tense occasionally between nations, nothings perfect...but Naruto and Sasuke along with many ninja across the nations are doing there best.

Boruto and Sarada are born during this transition period (Boruto will always claim the eldest title, for all he's a minute and 26 seconds older). (Naruto opted for a c-section as he was not going to attempt to hold a full henge during labor...he figured that was a good way to have no end of problems.)

Both Naruto and Sasuke would like to re-start their clans if possible that they and their traditions and Jutsu's might not be lost, so they agree to name one child an Uzumaki and one an Uchiha (based on if either develops a sharingan or a gift for dramatics and if one has massive chakra reserves and can eat twice their weight in ramen...it's a very strict determining system.

Sasuke is still gone from the village a lot but pops back in often to see his husband and children, while Naruto takes advantage of peace-time to be a Hokage who wears his children to work. (thy have their own play area and Naruto has clones that can take them to the park, though he tries to physically be there for at least dinner and dispel the clone that cared for them that day so he can absorb the memories and can discuss the day with his children.) Shikamaru decides to copy this habit of child-wearing as well with his own son.

It's entirely possible that since Naruto does a lot of paperwork and can make so many of himself a great many of the people who work in the Hokage Tower bring their kids for Naruto to watch... plus various friends, so Sarada and Boruto are never without playmates.

If you want to know what happens to Sakura and Hinata, no worries, Hinata formally withdraws as clan heir (she knows she isn't suited for it and Hanabi is) and eventually marries Gaara as both a political marriage and because the two have become fond of one another, both laugh over their original connection being crushes on Naruto. Kiba follows Hinata to Sand, thought a certain puppetmaster ends up being his reason to stay there. He and Temari act as more bonds forged between Sand and Leaf. (Also Neji never died due to Hinata's need to confess...)

Sakura finally fully realizes how much she...made up any romance between her and Sasuke and pours herself into the hospital ad healing for years before Lee finally gets his courage up again and asks her out and this time, Sakura finds herself happy to say yes.

Sasuke is much like a cat, and brings Naruto random things whenever he pops back to hidden leaf. Except two years after Boruto and Sarada's birth he brings back a small girl, obviously of Hyuuga descent by her eyes that he'd found. Hisashi does some digging and finds a random main branch clan member who'd "gone missing" decades before . This child most likely being a grandchild or greatgrandchild of the missing Hyuuga. Deciding that since he can't marry either of his daughter 's to the Hokage Hisashi decides this is a pretty good way to have a familial connection and so Himawari Uzumaki is adopted. (Naruto tells Sasuke she's the best present he's brought him yet.)

[qiffin]

To preface, I just want to apologize, I wasn't able to find an MLA citation of the fish kit image as its a pretty old and info about it online is scarce to none. I hope you can understand.

Fish Oil and Iron.

In 1979, loaded up on what i can only assume were creative paint fumes from crafting the film Elephant man, david lynch published a piece of photography titled “fish kit”. It was just like a model airplane he said! In the photo, a mutilated but separated fish is laid across a piece of paper with its blood and entrails laid there with it. The fish, separated into 3 parts and labeled as such, is surrounded by marker writings such as ; “can you swim like a fish?” “can you smell like a fish” “will you earn a star?”. His style of photography here has clearly been influenced by the surrealist movement in a more sharply satirical way than an abstractism one. There's a distinct emphasis put on the post-mortem pet with its umbre pools of blood and harsh blacks and whites as well as the texture of the fish’s slimy scales and gooey guts. In terms of the semiotics of the fish kit, id say the fish kit is metaphorical, taking the literal place of a model plane despite lynch saying it was like a model plane. It's not a simple comparison, it's imitating even the sort of taglines a toy like that would have as well as the “assembly is required” motif with the several split up parts of the fish. The photograph in itself encompasses the entirety of the sign, that being the fish kit, therefore assessment needed is the signified and signifier. The signifier would be things : “fish, death, blood, writing” and the signified being : “toy, play, instructions, rotten, shape, creepy and pet”. I find these descriptors hold weight as “fish creepy toy” accurately describes the fish kit. While it seems to lack a strong sense of objective meaning, it could hold a plethora of visual metaphors alluding to satirical messages on the world. To me it strikes me as, if made with political intent, either a comment on the absurd worthlessness of the products catering to the wonders that children had at the time or a middle finger to the widespread garbage treatment put towards animals in the world. While i dont think it means the latter is correct, its worth nothing david lynch has been a longterm vegetarian since before the fish kit. Beyond these two possible meanings, the work springs fourth a charcuterie of attention grabbing questions. What exactly does he mean by “will you earn a star?”, what does the bottom text say? What does he mean by “will you smell/swim like a fish”? The star, a common “signified” referring to the idea of an award often towards children, has few explanations. It could be a meaningless detail in a work with no message, but I think it could be interpreted as the reward you receive upon successfully completing the fish if even a stamp you'd get upon your completed “fish” being reviewed. The bottom text stumps me, as it looks like it says “clean and serob your room” although that would mean nothing in the work context. It's possible it was left intentionally vague with the lighting making it un-legible. Finally, the goal of potentially smelling or swimming like a fish. It could be an attempt to promote imitation of a fish (possibly after you view your completed fish swimming) alike to pretending to be a lion or giraffe though it could also be a rhetorical, asking if the child is able to construct the fish in a way to where it accurately smells and swims like one, a question of accuracy. At the end of the day though with the fish kit, there'll always be more questions. 

Can you eat like a fish?

Can you rot like a fish? 

Can you die like a fish?

[whispered-into-the-void]

The way we get Wolverine - the "proper" MCU Wolverine - introduced to the MCU shouldn't be with an origin movie, obviously. It shouldn't be with an X-Men movie starring him, or a solo movie. Heck, I don't even think he should be a secondary character in an X-Men or X-Force movie.

Our introduction to Logan in the MCU should be with a post-mortem.

Logan is dead. The Wolverine is no more. Our story would explore his impact on the people around him. His allies, his friends, the people he raised, now grown heroes in their own right; how did he affect them in life, and how does his memory impact who they are now?

The story, since it revolves around legacy, would follow his two most well-known children; Daken, and Laura Kinney. Daken would have much the same role he did in main canon; he was raised believing his father had abandoned him, and now that he's come to America seeking his revenge, he finds that the man he'd been preparing to kill is already dead. How does he cope with that?

I'm not entirely sure how to deal with Laura going in. I like the idea of her having known Logan prior, but there's a part of me that would like to see her turning up at the X-Mansion shortly after he dies, looking for him. She would be the point of view character, obviously. I'd keep Dafne Keen, ideally, but in a Doctor Strange "Multiverse Variant with the same face" way.

That way you have the story of two children who never knew their father, both trying to find out who he is. In my mind, Daken takes the "mantle" of Wolverine, and goes on a killing spree, trying to tarnish the legacy of Logan. Laura tracks him down when rumours of the Wolverine coming back start to surface ("I told you he's alive!") and figures out that she has to put a stop to Daken. It works; and at the end of the movie, she becomes the main MCU Wolverine going forward.

(also, in my mind, that's her only "solo" movie; she'd then mainly be an accessory in team-ups and maybe a movie about Gabbie, which would obviously then be about legacy again as well)

[sansacherie]

for the people in the notes confused about what this is and are making necrophilia jokes (which isn't cute or funny btw) I can tell you that this is a real thing. It's called post-mortem sperm retrieval and no it doesn't involve "fucking a corpse" and it's quite controversial in reproductive medicine.

anyway moving on considering how many palestinians have lost their children- little kids that already EXIST - actual human beings with thoughts and dreams and opinions and flaws and memories and experiences - sorry not sorry but i or anyone else aren't to blamed if we don't have much patience for shaya atayari or aren't ready to shed a tear for her not being able to have more children.

be grateful that the child you already have is safe.

also the idea that it doesn't matter if these hypothetical children would grow up knowing their father is not at all surprising coming from the people who have made so many orphans of palestinian children like it was nothing.

Those stories from the early days of the war about sperms being collected from dead Israelis to keep bloodlines 'pure' were true omg

[abundantchewtoys]

Wizardy Herbert theory

So, chronologically, what happened?

There exists a magical realm where time moves approximately 9.42 times faster than on Earth. The realm provides means for magical rites of passage and/or recreation for children, of a sort.

During Reagan's presidency, he alluded to his Chief Secretary about having spend a magical time at a summer camp. He also mentioned "you-know-who" being finally defeated, and the realm where the new Space Race against the Russians would be taking place. How did they access this realm in the first place? Well, magic exists on Earth, just weaker. Maybe both sides had a Manhattan thing going. In any case, they were able to replicate White House + bring over ships and aircraft.

Summer of 1996, Louis finished volume 1 of his summer camp story. By autumn 1997, he'd written all 7 volumes. None of which got published despite all being (presumably) equally "enthusiastic" as the first volume.

Louis entered his room, noticed his book on the desk open in the middle. One of the passages was altered. Not redacted, altered. Meaning someone was inside his story at that exact time. Someone took the place of a character in his story, and the Mobius Slipknot took the appearance the local McGuffin.

Who was inside, and who did they replace?

Louis reads a passage containing (somehow) the Slipknot (plot slipknot), or a passage that contains the properties of the Slipknot, in any case.

The next we see of him, he's dead, Slinus Marlevort and the McGuffin are redacted, and there's probably someone inside Louis' room, as Seymour finds the body. Since the plotknot has been slipped, Seymour reading that exact passage should have no effect.

Now, there's a version of Slinus on Earth, or so I believe. I also believe this is actually Grant! As hinted in Roxy's wizardfic, pre-deformity Slinus looks exactly like Grant. Consider: he's from Volume 1, and later Slinus would restore himself from Volume 7 of WH. In any case, he should have had his memory wiped. He may or may not be in the possession of a matroesjka doll. And the Slipknot.

Now, here things get dicey.

What may have happened: Did Louis accidentally wrote an exact account of Ronald Reagan's past, and did the man try to explore the story, accidentally leading to Grant's extraction?

Now, I think Grant, being amnesiac, had no idea what's going on but realizes he has some form of magical powers. He extracts Herbert, Beatrix, Russett, Slinus from Volume 7 by accident, or these three exit through other means. Slinus seems to keep his memories, at least shortly after extraction, as we see when Slinus summons his duplicate. Maybe the same holds for this version of Herbert & Beatrix & Russett.

Beatrix gets a hold of the Slipknot. Grant abandons ship in his matroesjka doll. Louis' corpse is sucked into the story somehow.

Louis, meanwhile, I wouldn't be surprised if he dropped dead way in the beginning of all this, from an all but magical heart attack.

Slinus is able to summon or recreate the Adorsmythe Tine and curses Herbert and Beatrix between autumn of 1997 and Christmas 1998. Also, at some point during Volume 1 and Volume 7, he got deformed, so he's not an older clone of Grant, in appearance. Meaning you wouldn't recognized one from knowing the other. Both need glasses, though.

Christmas 1998. After preparing in "Reagan's Realm" (where the man in question has some post-mortem failsafe in place, too, à la god-tier ascension), Older Herbert & Beatrix & Russett are almost dead from the curse.

Slinus has summoned Hastings from the book and set him on their trail. He knows part of their plan, but not all of it.

Older Russett & Beatrix summon younger versions of themselves and Herbert. But suddenly Grant shows up and kidnaps Russett. The matroesjka doll ends up in the hands (claws) of Terrence Rothshild, presumably another summon by Slinus, but who seems to recognized Reagan - more proof that Louis wrote Reagan's biography? Through some form of wild magic, Grants teleports part of a city to the middle of the ocean. There he'll stay for six years, with Russett. Where in the story they used to be the same age, by this point, he's 1.5 years Russett's senior.

Slinus summons Carmen, Daniel, Nemoira, Pycroft and others from the story while in Reagan's realm. This is how Nemoira knows Daniel isn't really "gone", she can still someone a younger version of him. Slinus is hellbent on recreating the summer camp, and focuses on skeletons and allowing Seymour to pose as Thundleshick, all because in the end, he's just written to act in this way.

Older Beatrix takes her "sister" away for safekeeping. In the commotion, Grant may have killed older Russett, leaving young Wizardy Herbert to do the dirty work in his stead and bury the corpse.

Older Herbert's fate is unknown. He did interact with Jamal however, posing as or assuming the role of Louis' brother. For whatever reason. Maybe to gain access to Reagan's Realm somehow, depending on how you access it when you have a lack of magic.

Maybe Reagan replaced Tristin Sheeth in the story during the autumn of 1997, maybe not. In any case, once young Beatrix is investigating Herbert, she gets a message from someone calling themselves "Tristin Sheeth". It wasn't a regular phone call, though it did seem to be a live connection. Maybe Tristin Sheeth is just an alias that Terrence Rothshild goes by, though.

Other loose ends (unslipped plotknots):

Is Slinus Marlevort really not an anagram? He’s definitely an amalgam: Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort, wrapped into one.

Did Hussie intend to make the story itself a matroesjka doll? Like, having someone (an alive Louis, pre-death? or Ronald Reagan?) write the story of the "real world", allowing people to be summoned from Earth to Reagan's realm?

Was the last paragraph of the draft meant to show Herbert gaining access to Louis' memory alone, or was he going to merge with Louis' personality, kernelsprite-wise? I don't think the latter, or if so, I think Herbert's personality will dominate Louis' effortlessly.

[radical-desiderium]

The Myth of Brain Sex

There have been many small studies which claimed to have finally and decisively located a concrete sexual dimorphism in brains. In 1995, a Nature study confidently concluded that language-processing in women occurred more diffusely across the hemispheres of the brain than in men (Shaywitz, 1995). The study’s sample base was 38 right-handed people, 19 male and 19 female, making “small” a highly apt descriptor. In 2008, a meta-analysis of previous studies on sex differences in language lateralization refuted the results of the 1995 study, finding no difference in the execution of language tasks or the structure of the Planum Temporale involved therin, but interestingly enough, did conclude that males are more likely to be left handed (Sommer, 2008).

The rise of Magnetic Resonance Imaging, or MRI, has brought about a whole new avenue for studying the brain and subsequently reinvigorated the search for brain gender. One particular 2005 MRI study of 21 men and 27 women done by the University of California looked at correlations between IQ and grey matter in different areas of the brain (Haier, 2005). This study was, and I believe still is, particularly influential on the prevalence of brain dimorphism as a popular belief; it gained a great deal of public recognition, despite it having a small sample size that makes any results far less significant. A small study such as this could have some level of merit, but its conclusions would have to be confirmed by much larger studies, and the fact is that much of the public’s conclusions about the meaning of the study reach far further than the study justifies. A further 2021 meta-analysis of 3 decades of MRI and post-mortem data attributes the difference in the ratio of grey matter observed in the 2005 study to the difference in brain size between males and females, which is about an 11% average difference between an adult male and an adult female, with male brains being larger (Eliot, 2021). The difference in brain size can also explain differences in regional cortical volumes and inter- or intra-hemispheric connectivity. When comparing across populations, the study found minimal consistent differences in male and female brains other than brain size. In her article discussing the idea of brain sex, which she refers to as neurosexism, neuroscientist Lise Eliot points out that many neurological studies similarly do not control for brain size, thereby unconsciously increasing apparent male-female difference (Eliot, 2019).

In her 2019 book the Gendered Brain, neuroscientist Gina Rippon likens the process of the publishing and refuting of studies claiming brain dimorphism to a game of whack-a-mole. I find this to be a highly fitting metaphor. The idea of brain sex is not new, and the concept has plagued science for centuries. A new study always rears its head, claiming to have succeeded where all previous studies have failed, and it shortly proceeds to become obsolete, but not before it gets misconstrued and twisted by public misinterpretations which are then perpetuated long past the study. So if the evidence has never been strong for brain sex, why does the myth persist? In my humble opinion, it persists regardless of the evidence stacking against it because people want to believe it. They want to believe that there’s something inherent to it, that gender resides in the brain, that you’re born liking pink or liking blue, because they want to justify the society in which they live and the way they live as simply natural. If you believe in brain sex, you don’t have to fix existing societal inequalities. Instead of addressing the prejudices and biases that prevent women from seeking careers in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics), you can simply say that women are just not as mathematically-minded and the disparity results from that. Instead of confronting the idea that gender roles are enforced on children from birth, you can say that women inherently like pink and all that follows. There’s no need to challenge any existing beliefs or examine your own actions. Believing in brain sex is easier than acknowledging the omnipresent influence of culture. Psychologist Cordelia Fine put it most succinctly:

“Popular neurosexism permits us to sit back and relax, with its seemingly neat explanation of our social structure and personal lives. The answer, ‘Oh, it’s the brain,’ offers a tidy justification for accepting the status quo with clear conscience (Fine, 2008).”

Works Cited under the cut:

Eliot, L., Ahmed, A., Khan, H. et al. Dump the “dimorphism”: Comprehensive synthesis of human brain studies reveals few male-female differences beyond size. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 125, 667-697 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.02.026

Eliot, L. Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains. Nature, 566, 453–454 (2019). https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1038/d41586-019-00677-x

Fine, C. Will Working Mothers’ Brains Explode? The Popular New Genre of Neurosexism. Neuroethics 1, 69–72 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12152-007-9004-2

Haier, R., Jung, R., Yeo, R. et al. The neuroanatomy of general intelligence: sex matters. NeuroImage 25, 320-327 (2005). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2004.11.019

Shaywitz, B., Shaywltz, S., Pugh, K. et al. Sex differences in the functional organization of the brain for language. Nature 373, 607–609 (1995). https://doi.org/10.1038/373607a0

Sommer, I., Aleman, A., Somers, M. et al. Sex differences in handedness, asymmetry of the Planum Temporale and functional language lateralization. Brain Research 1206, 76-88 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brainres.2008.01.003

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

What is, in your opinion, the greatest thing The Doctor ever did, as well as the worst thing they ever did?

So. I'm going to choose two moments for each question. One in terms of the scale, the amount of good or bad that was done, and the second in terms of the personal, how it affected the "unimportant" people. Basically, the greatest and worst things The Doctor ever did for everyone versus for just one person. Also, here's my typical disclaimer that I've not seen the classic series other than a handful of episodes.

It's difficult to top The Day of The Doctor. I'm not sure there's anything that could rival saving Gallifrey. I can't tell you how much the hope burgeoned in my heart when it got to the point of "Gentlemen, I have had four hundred years to think about this...I've changed my mind." I didn't dare believe it, but I also didn't understand why they kept talking about it. Since if they were going to do it, The War Doctor's quiet "Thank you..." would have been the place to end that scene. Throughout the movie, they tease at the idea that The War Doctor might make a different choice, and as a viewer, you're wondering what the point is. "They don't know it's still up to you." The Moment says, and the audience is thinking "But it's not. It's a foregone conclusion." Only it wasn't. That scene where all of The Doctors "All THIRTEEN!" make a return to save Gallifrey gets me every time. Also, the "I've changed my mind" scene was the first time The Sheppard's Boy, my favorite Doctor Who track, played. But back then it was called "This time there's three of us." Seriously, I know the rest of the show didn't do as much with this as it should have, but I still get emotional every time Eleven talks about how he finally knows where he's going - home.

But rescuing an entire planet is grand in scale, and while 2.47 billion children saved is nothing to sneeze at, let's talk about something more down to earth. Let's talk about Vincent and The Doctor. It was a tough toss up on this one and The Fires of Pompeii, but I just get choked up every time I watch that scene. You know the one. Where The Doctor brings Vincent forward in time to show him that he is appreciated post mortem. That he becomes a legendary artist. Watching Vincent overhear the speech about his painting just chokes me up, and the music only makes it all the more beautiful. The Doctor summed it up perfectly at the end. True, Vincent still killed himself, history still played out the same way. But that's alright. Even The Doctor can't cure a person's mental illness. But he and Amy made Vincent's life better, that's what counts. They added to his pile of good things. At times when Vincent was sinking into despair, he could look back on meeting them, remember what they showed him, remember that one day, his work would be appreciated. For an artist, that is so incredibly personal and it's just...as someone who likes to write myself, I'm not sure I can explain how much something like that would mean to me. This episode just deals with mental health in such a brilliant and sensitive fashion. Aw man, it might be my favorite episode, I don't know.

So, we've talked about the good...let's cover the bad.

In terms of scale and the amount of damage it caused, I'm going to say the worst thing The Doctor ever did was engineer the downfall of Harriet Jones. I have always had a problem with this. The trouble with The Doctor is that there's often a power struggle between him and the authorities of the planet, but while UNIT can keep him in check, regular old politicians cannot. I'm not saying that I agree with Harriet's decision, but it was hers to make. The Sycorax had invaded Earth and threatened the lives of billions of people, tried to sell them into slavery. No, Doctor, it is not "murder" for an Earth representative to execute them for that. It's not like there were any civilians on that ship. Again, I'm not saying it was the right choice, but The Doctor can't go around deposing leaders that the humans rightfully elected just because he disagrees with their decisions. Plus, what he did ultimately paved the way for The Master to set himself up as Harold Saxon, which ultimately caused The Year That Never Was. I know, The Doctor had no way of knowing that would happen...but it's a fine example of why he cannot just go around fucking with Earth's politics like that. He messed with history, too! Harriet was supposed to have three terms, and it was said to be a golden age! "Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones." Doctor, this is her planet, and she's representing the Earth. This is her turf. You're the one challenging her.

But as far as the smaller scale, the stuff he did to singular people, who didn't deserve it? (So excluding folks like Solomon the Trader, for example) I'm going to say it was making Ashildr immortal. Of all people, The Doctor should know better than to inflict something like that on someone, and it's abundantly clear that Ashildr wishes it never happened. Yes, it was tragic that she died so young. But this is not the alternative, and the eons of pain and loneliness that she had endure as a result? That's on him. She didn't agree to this, and it's made her miserable. "You didn't save my life, Doctor. You trapped me inside it." Despite this, The Doctor acts far too high and mighty the next time he runs into her, like he's in any position to judge Ashildr for how she copes. Refusing to take her with him because "it wouldn't be good" even though it is the least he could do after what he's done. His reasoning being that immortals shouldn't travel together - well it's not like it's her fault that she's one of them, Doctor. It's your fault. You made this mess, and you refuse to clean it up, but you also keep "surveillance" on Ashildr. My, how the tables have turned. Remember when it was The Timelords keeping an eye on The Doctor, trying to restrict him? Sure, this comes back to haunt him later when saving Ashildr ultimately results in Clara's death...but hey, he found a way around that too, right?

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[manuscripts-dontburn]

The Doll Factory

Author: Elizabeth Macneal

First published: 2019

Pages: 336

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

I felt that this book, while perhaps not exceptional, was very well put together. It was paced just right and the sense of growing dread escalates in a way which kept me glued to the page. Truly well written historical fiction.

Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife

Author: Bart D. Ehrman

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am rather conflicted about this book. Firstly, as a Christian bordering on agnosticism (I have never been a part of any church and my family is completely atheistic), I felt both somehow comforted by Ehrman´s deductions and somewhat resentful at the same time. Not because he very convincingly talks about the changing of religious perspectives (I am a historian myself so that information was only natural), but because he is clearly working with the notion of non-existence of God, not really treating it as a possibility. That, however, is my own personal issue. Objectively speaking, this is a very good book. Though academic in tone, it reads quite easily and is obviously well researched. The title, however, is misleading. Like many others, I had expected this to be a study of VARIOUS theories of afterlives, but 80% of the book is focused on early Christianity only. Not that isn´t fascinating, but for people hoping to learn something about other religions and cultures and their post-mortem ideas, it can only represent a big disappointment. So - know what you are getting, have an open mind and you might find this book a worthy addition to your personal library.

Wuthering Heights The Graphic Novel

Author: Emily Brontë, John M. Burns

First published: 2011

Pages: 160

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I don´t think there is much to review. I love the original book. I enjoyed its re-imagining here.

The Vanishing

Author: Sophia Tobin

First published: 2017

Pages: 390

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

This was sort of OK I guess??? The beginning was promising, but I lost interest in the latter half, which also became somewhat convoluted. Not very memorable, though Sophia Tobin´s writing style is fine. I would not mind trying another book by her in the future.

The Mercies

Author: Kiran Millwood Hargrave

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

Stunningly-written and deeply moving, this book has really only one weakness. It somewhat drags in the middle. But the atmosphere is alive and palpable and the emotions pure and real. There are many other books dealing with the topic of witch-trials, but few manage to be as powerful as well as respectfully restrained. Hargrave as an author knows how to keep the balance and her book beautiful.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Wonderful Books of Oz: The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz

Author: Frank L. Baum

First published: 1900, 1910, 1920

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 5 days

This book is not commonly known in my country and so I have only read it for the first time now when I am over thirty. It definitely has its charm, especially the first volume, which holds some beautiful truths one wishes to teach the children (or adults). The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz are both mostly just a flight of fancy with no actual conflict. In fact, the danger to any of the characters is so nonexistent it begs the question of "why should I care". Not bad, but perhaps I would have loved it more if I was 5, not 33. Mea culpa.

Vasilisa the Wise and Other Tales of Brave Young Women

Author: Kate Forsyth

First published: 2017

Pages: 103

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Very sweet retelling of several classic fairytales in which the girl saves herself (even if she needs some help by others, and the others are never the prince).

S.

Author: J.J. Abrams, Doug Dorst

First published: 2013

Pages: 456

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 19 days

This book felt like an acid trip with Umberto Eco or something in a similar vein to me. I was rather terrified that the whole thing would be completely dependant on the unusual format, but to my delight, the format merely enhances and enriches the actual novel, which in itself is dark, confusing, moving, terrifying, philosophical and weirdly fascinating. I am sure a lot has escaped my attention or flew over my head, but I welcome it because it gives me more reason to return to the book in the future. It was not all flawless though. My biggest gripe, as an actual Czech person, is that even though so much effort and thought went into the creation of this book, the author decided that Google translate will do just fine - and no surprise - it did not. There are not many instances of the Czech language being used, but when it is... it is all wrong. The Czech language is quite difficult and complex and Google translate does not know how to deal with it most of the time. Just one example: In the book, Eric writes OPICE TANCE on the wall and says it is Czech for "MONKEY DANCES". Yeah. Yeah, it is. IF THE WORD "DANCES" IS TAKEN AS A NOUN IN PLURAL. The correct translation would be "OPICE TANČÍ" and trust me it IS a big big difference. (Do not get me started on the vintage newspaper article....) You definitely need a lot of brainpower and focus when reading, this is not an easy book to follow. You also need to accept that not all questions are answered. I am glad I read it though. I found it an interesting experience.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

First published: 1954

Pages: 407

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

What can I say? Yet again I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. Few, very few books have the power of this one.

Mexican Gothic

Author: Silvia Moreno-Garcia

First published: 2020

Pages: 301

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 12 days

I don´t have much to say but I was a bit bored at the beginning, but it turned out to be a pretty wild ride.

Aristokratka u královského dvora

Author: Evžen Boček

First published: 2020

Pages: 184

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Miluji celou tuto sérii, bohužel tento díl mi, ač stále zábavný, přišel prozatím nejslabší... Měla jsem pocit, že první polovina knihy opustila můj oblíbený, laskavý humor teenagerky, která se musí potýkat s výstřední rodinou a situací, a sklouzává spíše trochu k upřímné krutosti... Doufám, že další pokračování se vrátí ke své laskavosti.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance During the Blitz

Author: Erik Larson

First published: 2020

Pages: 608

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

An excellent and above all readable account of a chapter in the WW2 history. Larson explains well why Churchill was the best man for that dark hour and why he is still viewed as a hero in Europe (his questionable and even abhorrent views and actions in the context of the British Empire and people of other races notwithstanding), as the person who stood up to Hitler and pretty much kept the fires of defiance burning. There is definitely not enough "family" in this "family saga", but given the sheer amount of material and information presented to the reader, I suppose the author struck an acceptable balance between the politics and the private matters.

Conjure Women

Author: Afia Atakora

First published: 2020

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 8 days

The beginning of this book seemed tiring, and at risk of sounding insensitive, not interesting, since it seemed to tackle the same things that have already been tackled. But then there appeared strands of stories and of secrets, and suddenly I just needed to know everything. The whole story then appears as an artful mosaic. The last chapter felt unnecessary though and I did not understand its meaning if it was supposed to have any.

[drunkkenobi]

Catt’s Favorite BuzzFeed Unsolved Episodes

This Friday (March 27, 2020) BuzzFeed Unsolved is going to air its 100th episode! I have no idea if they’ll acknowledge it, but exciting all the same. In celebration of it, and because watching two dummies ghost hunt and talk murder is actually a good use of everyone’s time right now, I’m going to list my Top 10 Supernatural and Top 10 True Crime episodes. (But first, subscribe to Watcher)

BFU Supernatural Top 10

10. The Haunted Quarters of the Dauphine Orleans Hotel - Both New Orleans episodes are a hoot and a half, but I give the edge to the Dauphine because of the bedsharing, the spooky footsteps, “I STOLE THEM OFF A WOMAN WHO DIED ON THE TITANIC”,  and, of course, two ghost bros chillin’ in a jacuzzi tub six inches apart.

9. The Search for the Mysterious Mothman - While this episode is so enjoyable (the pizza, the ogling of the Mothman statue, the Mothman calls, etc.) on its own, I love it so much for introducing Mothman into the BFU mythos. I think about Ryan saying he’d ride Mothman for life almost every day of my own life.

8. The Hunt for La Llorona - The Weeping Woman - Yes, a sponsored episode made my top 10 and it’s because Curly is a goddamn treasure and brought out so much weird chaotic horniness in Ryan. Also they got some spooky spirit box answers at the cemetery.

7. The Subterranean Terrors of the London Tombs - The best Unsolved episodes are when some spooky stuff actually happens (as it does here, with some unexplained noises and a light turning off), but what freaks Ryan out the most is just a very normal haunted maze attraction. Magnifique. 

6. The Mysterious Disappearance of the Roanoke Colony - This one is just so fucking funny. Ryan’s theories getting increasingly bonkers are always a fun staple, but never better than when he gets to drop that “the Roanoke colonists turned into zombies” bomb on Shane who throws Timmy’s ball he’s so mad.

5. The Unbelievable Horrors of the Old City Jail - a newbie, but still worthy of the top 10. Yes, Ryan’s freakout on his solo investigation is what makes this one, but we can’t forget the completely bizarre bellybutton courting and Ryan and Shane’s rap. Nor the way Shane very softly greets Ryan after his freakout.

4. Return to the Horrifying Winchester Mansion - I love the Winchester mansion, it’s a place I’d love to visit someday. (I don’t think it’s all that haunted, I just think it’s neat). The boys return is very fun, especially their overnight stay in separate rooms. Ryan’s running monologue of begging the ghosts to stay away from him (even though he’s there to collect evidence of their existence) is never funnier than here. It also gave us an all-time moment in the Post-Mortem where Ryan admitted that Shane provided him a great deal of comfort.

3. Three Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - The one that started it all. It remains a favorite (and their most watched) for a reason. The original Winchester ghost hunt and the Island of the Dolls are good enough on their own, but it’s Sallie House that made the show into what we all know and love today. Ryan screaming at a flashlight, Shane laughing at Ryan screaming at a flashlight...that’s it, that’s the show.

2. The Terrors of the Yuma Territorial Prison - “This episode is underrated!!!” she screamed from the rafters. Shane is in a very odd mood in this one, insisting to Ryan that he did hear some strange footsteps (and Ryan doesn’t seem to believe him), he gets into an argument with a possible ghost on the spirit box, “I’m strange and OFF-PUTTING!”, that goofy ass gift shop investigation, and then there’s the bats. It’s a great thrill to see what Shane is like when he’s actually a little freaked out, and it’s, as always, an even greater one to see Ryan reduced to tears.

1. The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge - Is it an obvious #1? Yes. Does that make it any less worthy? No. One of my favorite things about this episode is that Shane’s iconic antagonizing of Goatman happens in the first half of the episode. Then they have to go into the woods and yell about cult stuff and be afraid of real people hanging out in said woods after! The energy started chaotic (”Are you taking off your pants? We’re in public!”) and never stopped from there. An absolute classic and it always, always makes me laugh. 

BFU True Crime Top 10

10. The Historic Disappearance of Louis LePrince - I think season 3 of True Crime is really strong, in general. As a true crime fan, it had a lot of cases I had never heard before and I think they’re all pretty interesting, this one included. I also like that it gave Shane a chance to shit on Thomas Edison. He deserved it.

9. The Odd Vanishing of Amelia Earhart - Like Shane, I do like to imagine Amelia crash landing among the crabs. It’s a good mix of a classic mystery we all know a little about and the boys taking it to the extremes.

8. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - One of the best directed episodes of Unsolved (great job Sara), I really enjoy all the flourishes this episode has. Plus, it’s a great mystery. Yeah, she was probably a spy, but that’s only one part of the story. 

7. The Terrifying Axeman of New Orleans - The boys have a lot of fun with this, especially the rumors that the Axeman was somehow supernatural and able to shrink down to enter doors. 

6. The Creepy Murder in Room 1046 - One of those mysteries I had never heard before and I was totally enthralled for this episode because of it. I’ve even heard this on other True Crime programs since then, but Ryan and Shane talking about it is still much more interesting and entertaining to me. This episode did introduce us to the running joke that will not die, Ricky Goldsworth, but it’s helped by the realization that Ryan 100% named his ~evil alter ego after his childhood dog.

5. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - This one holds a special place in my heart because it was the episode that really hooked me on the show. It wasn’t the first I watched (that would be Bobby Mackey’s), but it was the one that interested me enough to keep clicking around on YouTube to keep watching these two cute doofuses. It’s also a very fun mystery since no one dies.

4. The Disturbing Murders at Keddie Cabin - One of the most visually stunning episodes of BFU, the boys trip to the Keddie Cabins is one of the most genuinely unsettling episodes. The rainy day and glances of townspeople watching them poke around the remnants of the cabin where a woman and children were brutally murdered really add to the mood, especially because of the rumors that town and police corruption are why these remain unsolved.

3. The Mysterious Death of the Eight Day Bride - Ah, the polyamorous episode, as I refer to it in my head. It was nice to see them tackle a case that included a possible queer angle and treat that part of it pretty respectfully. It was also nice for Ryan to compare himself to the third wheel of the story when talking about hanging out with Shane and Sara all the time. (this episode also gets a slight boost for having the best Post-Mortem of all time. He would ride Mothman for life, y’all.)

2. The Strange Disappearance of DB Cooper - It’s just hilarious. They have a ball discussing one of the biggest American mysteries of the 20th century, nearly choking on their bourbon and sodas, “SPRING BREAK!!!”, and laughing at the “phantom of the sky”. 

1. The Treacherous Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn - Ryan Bergara emerging from a Best Western bathroom dressed up as Indiana Jones while Shane stares in stunned silence is the greatest 3 seconds this show has ever produced. I will not be taking critiques at this time.

No, but seriously, this episode is a full-on blast. I love how different it is from anything else they’ve ever done. I love the “over-produced montages”. I love the actual thrill when Ryan sees that square rock. I, obviously, love the Indiana Bergara of it all. I love that they really did do a lot of research into where to look for Fenn’s treasure. I loved their stupid Post-Mortem outfits and renting an expensive car all for a stupid bit because that’s why I love these two dummies. They delight each other so much with their similar bullshit and sense of humor and it’s never more apparent and charming to me than this episode. 

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #20: Sea Princesses Part 4 (Answering the Barracuda Kingdom saga and more post-mortem updates)

“Sea Princesses… Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.” – in response to a Brazilian Twitter meme

This is the first time I’ve revisited a completed segment to add more content to it. Back in #13, I teased a storyline for Soulbound Series 4 that answers the mysteries of the Barracuda Kingdom saga and Duante from Sea Princesses. At the time, I was taking a break from writing the story due to the coronavirus lockdown, but a couple of months ago, I was finally able to finish it and continue writing new stories. The embargo date I set for the story’s premiere has passed, so I want to take the first opportunity I can to share it with you all. Also, I want to address a few Sea Princesses-related things that have come up, but that will come later. Let’s get right into it.

Prerequisite requirements

Even though this is a Soulbound story, the characters from that series have very little involvement in the two-parter – in fact, only three minor characters show up and they mostly help the others in the fighting (I’m not good at working with large casts lel). That is why I’m able to tell this story to you without spoiling anything else.

The following Sea Princesses episodes are required viewing in order to understand this story:

The Lost Kingdom

The New Princess

The Guardians

The Healer

Reviewing the previous instalments of Kisekae Insights covering Sea Princesses (#11, #12 and #13 linked above) is recommended, but not required. The only main assumption made is that the Dryland girl (Windy) and her mother from The New Princess are descendants of the lost Barracuda Royal Family.

Lorah’s backstory

In #11, I wrote that Lorah wasn’t known to be a part of any royal family, but before continuing with the writing of the story, I found some introductory material I wrote in 2018 that stated that Lorah was the Barracuda Prince. I almost couldn’t remember writing it, but instead of making plans to change it later, I decided to utilise that plotline I forgot for three years (because I forgot to mention it in Decade, but I’ll fix it eventually).

Years ago, when the Barracuda Palace was destroyed in an earthquake, Lorah and a few of the royal family’s servants were thought to have died when they were forced to flee. Unbeknownst to them however, Lorah and the servants were saved by their fellow barracuda who had arrived to see what was going on. Lorah was taken to the Farlands, where he was raised by his family’s servants before he returned to Salacia some time after the end of the Time War. The kings and queens recognised him and allowed him to become a general in the Salacian Army, granting him a castle in the Turtle Kingdom to use as a base along with an army of Oni Riders. Nobody brought anything up about his family because they had no clue where they were.

Windy’s backstory

As I stated in #13, the name of the “new princess” is Windy Adams, a tribute to the namesake character of the third Sea Princesses main series book, The Windy Letters. Windy is 24 years old during her appearance in the two-parter, meaning that she would have been 7 years old during The New Princess. You could argue that she looks older, but then you could say the same for Polvina, Ester and Tubarina who are noted to be 7 years old in the official sources.

Fast forward to The Lost Kingdom, where the barracuda learnt that if they helped rebuild the destroyed Barracuda Palace, then there might be a chance that their royal family would return. They were happy for a bit, but then they became grumpy again because their royal family never returned… or so they thought.

Fast forward to The New Princess, where Polvina, Ester and Tubarina were left with more questions than answers after testing Windy, who had already left the island with her marine archaeologist mother by then, to see whether she really was the Barracuda Princess. Many questions are raised; how could a Drylander have read a book written in Salacian? Could someone else have gone onto the island and left “Goodbye friends” in the sand? No, Windy and her mother were the only ones on the island. They had the bracelet from the Barracuda Kingdom with them, so they might have been able to use that to read the book that Polvina had left on the island, but even then, how would they have been able to do it? Assuming that all this is true, then why were the barracuda being happy around Windy?

In 2018, Windy’s family was killed by Dai-Shocker when they attacked Santos. Though Yuki Yamaki and Marcela managed to confirm their links to the Barracuda Royal Family, Windy’s body was never found. The answer to all these questions can be explained with a simple explanation combining numerous elements. Speaking of which…

Duante’s backstory

In The Guardians, we learn that the goddess Salacia appointed the blowfish to be the guardians of Salacia, then covered it up by making each royal family’s history books say that their respective families were the guardians and tearing the respective pages out of the only public version in the Great Library of Salacia. As a result, the blowfish can speak to anyone they wish and be understood by them. Though the blowfish request Polvina, Ester and Tubarina to keep their discovery a secret, Hiroki and Duante are privy to this due to their contact with the goddess Salacia – this is referred to when Ester subtly reacts to them mentioning this secret.

In The Healer, Ester meets Duante, but he only allows her to ask one question and he disappears as fast as he appears. Ester’s only solution is to trick Duante into coming out and when he does, he becomes saddened because he didn’t want to meet Polvina and Tubarina through a trick. Though Duante told Ester that they could never be friends, he never said that it would be forever and as consolation, he gives her his name. So why did Duante seem like a wandering asshole back then?

Orphaned soon after his birth, Duante was found by the goddess Salacia, who raised him to be a guardian of Salacia and a healer of sick and injured sea creatures. Like the blowfish before him, Duante was given the ability to understand and communicate with every creature in the sea. He spent his life travelling around Salacia and the many other oceanic realms, doing what he can to help any sick or injured creature. In the 17 years after The Healer, Duante rarely ever showed up in Salacia.

The Aqua Conspiracy and the Poseidon Myth

The two statements are the titles of each episode in the two-parter.

In 2018, Salacia gave Duante the Aqua Driver and the mission of searching for the lost descendant of the Barracuda Royal Family on Dryland, namely Windy Adams. He managed to track her down to Santos, but he was caught up in a Dai-Shocker attack and was defeated.

Meanwhile, the Kougami Foundation were working on some new Core Medals (based on the new medals of the CSM OOO Driver) in the midst of a black hole paradox swallowing up the Riders and eventually, the world. Though they only made one of each medal to prevent Greeeds from forming, a Greeed still manages to form within the Same, Kujira and Ookami Core Medals before disappearing. The medals reappear in Windy’s house and possess her, transforming her into Kamen Rider Poseidon before she defeated the monsters. Windy’s body was never found that day because Poseidon saved her life.

By the time Duante got to Windy’s house, he was too late to save her family, but then, another supernatural force takes control of the Ebi, Kani and Sasori Core Medals and uses them to possess Duante. The supernatural force was Iemanja, the goddess of the ocean (more like the river according to Salacia) who was disgusted that a lowly Greeed had taken on the mighty name of Poseidon, the god of the oceans.

For the next three years, Poseidon went in search of worthy opponents to fight, but Aqua would constantly get in his way. Salacia’s concern for her two lost children led her to ask Hiroki for help searching for them, while the Kougami Foundation sent out OOO to help find the missing Core Medals.

After helping OOO and his friends fight Poseidon to no avail, Hiroki gets on the beers at the pub with Ester and Lorah. Some exposition dumps are shared and Hiroki gets frustrated at the dead ends and unsolvable mysteries until OOO’s group alerts him to a Greeed nearby.

Polvina and Tubarina encounter Jeopardy, Terumi and Minoru (the three characters from Soulbound) and challenge them to battle, but it is interrupted by Windy, wearing the bracelet and asking if they have seen Iemanja. When everyone arrives and points out that Windy is actually the Greeed, Poseidon takes control of her and begins fighting the Riders. Poseidon’s transformation sequence involves swinging the Deepest Harpoon in a cross, evoking elements of Kamen Rider Durendal’s transformation sequence. After everyone is defeated, Duante/Iemanja arrives and fights Poseidon, defeating him with the Oceanic Break and allowing Windy to regain control of herself.

Following another exposition dump back in the pub, Poseidon takes control of Windy’s body again and disappears to find more worthy opponents to fight in the sea and destroy Windy’s legacy. Tubarina realises that she is heading for the Barracuda Palace, but they can’t get everyone to Salacia by road in time. It is then that Hiroki and Polvina get an idea; the Riders (along with Jeopardy, Terumi and Minoru) use Mirror World to get to Salacia, where they alert the Shark King and all the other Riders. It is there that we get some amazing intercut transformation scenes based off the intercut transformation scene with Z and Geed in episode 15 of Ultraman Z.

Poseidon’s first opponent on the border between Salacia and the Farlands is Saula, the Salmon Princess (Alternative Zero, aka Bebe’s new owner from The Doll) and the Alternative Army. Poseidon defeats everyone one by one as she makes her way to the rebuilt Barracuda Palace in the Valley of Dusk. Aqua and OOO are Poseidon’s final opponents; Aqua has OOO use the Bikaso Combo to hold back Poseidon while he takes his medals, then gives them to OOO who uses the Saramiuo Combo to perform the Saramiuo Break Scanning Charge. After an Aqua Vortex from Aqua, Poseidon is purged from Windy’s body and destroyed as she lands on the throne.

Once everyone gathers at the Barracuda Palace, Windy reveals that her grandmother would always tell stories of how she came from the sea and was the princess of some kingdom until it was destroyed and they had to flee to Dryland. She also passed down her knowledge of the Salacian language in case they ever decided to find it one day. It is then that schools of barracuda begin gathering around the palace, cheering for the return of their prince and the arrival of their new princess. In case you didn’t get it by now, Windy is the lost descendant of the Barracuda Royal Family and therefore, the new Barracuda Princess.

Duante explains to Ester that he didn’t want to be friends with her back in The Healer because he had to keep his role as the guardian of Salacia a secret, but he eventually realised that his attitude back then made him seem impolite. He decides to stay and chat with Ester and her friends to make up for it. Lorah offers to take care of the Barracuda Kingdom in Windy’s absence while Miss Marla tells Windy that in Salacia’s absence, she can answer any questions she may have about the world of Salacia (the book series alluded to the fact that Miss Marla was more important than she actually seemed and in this project, that was because she was the messenger of the goddess Salacia).

With this, the Barracuda Kingdom saga has been resolved and a lot of loose ends in Sea Princesses have been tied up. To be honest, this storyline wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for Kamen Rider Zi-O; given that Aqua is featured towards the end of the series, my decision to adapt the series in my project meant that I was obligated to introduce him along with any other Rider that was important to the story or original footage. Otherwise, I would have been happy with just saying that Windy and her family were dead and leaving it at that.

In regards to Iemanja’s inclusion in the two-parter – in the Afro-Brazilian Candomblé religion (which combines traditional West African religions with Catholicism), Iemanja is the goddess of the sea and their counterpart of the Virgin Mary. Originally, in the Nigerian Yoruba religion, Yemoja (her original name) is the patron saint of rivers. This conflicts with Salacia, who is Roman goddess of the sea, which is why she makes a snarky remark at Iemanja in the story. Of course, this isn’t how I got inspired to include her in the story; it was from a Candomblé hymn named Mamãe Maria (Mother Mary) which had the words “princesas do mar” in the lyrics. I wonder if it would be sacrilege to turn that hymn into a fast-paced techno theme song for Kamen Rider Poseidon?

Post-mortem updates

Since I have covered everything in this series, I don’t want to dwell on it any more than I have because it’s beating a dead horse at this point (unless Fabio Yabu decides to make something new for it). So I want to take this opportunity to address some things before it becomes awkward when I make an update post out of nowhere with no new material to provide.

In the epilogue of the book reviews, I mentioned that Dan Wyllie (who voices Marcello and possibly Sirilo and Veto) had pleaded not guilty to assaulting his wife, Shannon Murphy (who voices Tata), in March 2020. The way I wrote that paragraph made it seem like Wyllie was the villain, but it turns out that everything wasn’t what it seemed. In February this year, Wyllie was found not guilty of assaulting his wife thanks to some selfies he took after Murphy poured yogurt on him. The magistrate stated that Murphy “was not an impressive witness” and that “she had tailored her evidence to suit a scenario in which she had been the original aggressor”. I’m going to leave it at that.

I’ve noticed that the episodes in the Portuguese and Latin American Spanish dubs on Amazon Prime are shorter than the English dubs by 2-3 minutes. While watching a couple of episodes and following along on my transcripts, I discovered that some scenes were cut from the episodes. I have no idea why this is the case, but this seems to confirm my suspicion that the English dub is the original dub.

For some time now, I have been wondering why Sea Princesses got very little exposure over the years. Some of my speculative reasons include the relative novelty of Brazilian animation at the time of production, not exporting the series to Japan, the US or the UK, not getting the books published internationally (or at least in English) until 2020, the just-about-average writing in the series and the lack of focus on other characters besides the main five.

Recently though, I remembered going on the official Sea Princesses website on UOL over a decade ago and having to wade through all the Portuguese in order to get the (low-medium quality) images of the characters. I asked Fabio Yabu if it didn’t cross his mind to make an English website for Sea Princesses or if contractual obligations with Southern Star prevented him from doing so; he told me that Southern Star were apparently supposed to translate the website, but they never ended up doing so. In my opinion, I don’t think he had an excuse not to make an English website, or at the very least, put translated descriptions of the characters on any of his social media or art sharing platforms like Facebook, Flickr, DeviantArt or Tumblr.

It’s been over a year now since my first correspondence with Yabu and while we did discuss publishing the translated versions of the main series books on Amazon Kindle, nothing much has come from that, the two remaining literacy series books to be translated or the mistake in the second main series book on Kindle that is still yet to be corrected. When I reached out to Yabu recently in regards to this, he told me that he is currently busy with projects and the coronavirus has made things much more complicated in Brazil, so things are on hold for now. To be honest, I’ve been iffy over sending him anything this past year because I’m afraid that I might be annoying him, but he’s been pretty cool about it, so I won’t worry so much about it if I decide to send him another email in a few months’ time or whatever.

Anyway, that’s it for Sea Princesses (again) for the time being. The next time I mention something new about it will probably be when Fabio Yabu finally decides to do something or when I talk about it in my adaptation of Kamen Rider Zi-O. I hope you enjoyed reading my theories.

[unexpectedreylo]

Here It Is:  My Spoilerific Review/Post Mortem of TROS

When I saw The Last Jedi two years ago, the movie haunted me for days, for weeks, for months.  It inspired the imagination, dragging me into the world of Reylo and reassuring whatever reservations I had about the post-Lucas sequel trilogy.

The Rise of Skywalker haunts me too but more in a “Demon House” kind of way.  It fires up the imagination, but more in the sense that it keeps you up at night thinking of all of the ways it could’ve been better.

This isn’t to say I hate the movie.  I don’t.  It’s not even entirely or mostly bad which is what makes it extra frustrating.  You can laugh your way through a total disaster like “Cats” or “The Room” but a movie with plenty of promise and of talent behind it that makes some bad decisions is tragic.  Especially since this is the closing chapter to a trilogy and the saga itself.

You can see there are bones for what could’ve been a really good, maybe even great movie.  One of my favorite parts was the opener where Kylo Ren literally descends into hell/the underworld to confront the devil for no other reason than he didn’t even want Satan above him, a man who serves no gods or devils.   (That right there is a classic Byronic hero.)  Exogol is a great haunted house/spooky setting.  The revelation that it was Palpatine manipulating him all along was a shocker and makes Ben’s story that much more poignant.  I also really liked the contrast with Rey’s introduction, a beautiful shot of her in the verdant forest floating among rocks as she’s meditating.  She is Persephone in her element (which makes the ending all that more baffling but don’t worry, I’m getting to that).

This sets the stage for the revelation that the two are part of an intriguing concept, a Force dyad, kind of a Star Wars version of soulmates maybe even twin flames.  The two just had to acknowledge the feelings between them, reunite, and take out the Sith trash while Rey finally confronts her own dark side.   I don’t mind the latter concept at all because with the trilogy’s thickest plot armor, I think it’s valuable to put her in some peril and to have her better understand Kylo/Ben.

Abrams also wanted to recapture the feel of 1980s blockbusters like the Indiana Jones films or The Goonies, both made by his old mentor Steven Spielberg.  That’s most palpable when the Space Scoops Troop, er “trio,” falls into quicksand and pokes around an underground cave looking for one of the film’s many MacGuffins.  Abrams does good set pieces and powers them along with snappy dialogue.  Like TFA, it’s peppered with some genuinely funny scenes.

If nothing else, you can’t blame the cast for any of the film’s problems.  Everyone does the best they can with what they’re given and the long-standing chemistry between various pairs (Adam and Daisy, John and Oscar, Adam and Harrison Ford for example) do a lot to serve their scenes.  I think Oscar’s best scene was when he confesses to Leia lying in state that he doesn’t know if he can be the leader the Resistance needs.  It’s an honest, human moment.  Daisy continues to infuse Rey with her natural luminance.  I particularly liked the few quiet moments she has, such as meeting the children on Pasaana or healing the snake.  It shows her compassion and foreshadows healing Ben.

Daisy does pretty well with what she is given about struggling with her dark side.  (Remember, she didn’t write her own screenplay.)  Maybe it’s unpopular to say this but I kind of liked her brief turn as “Dark Rey.”  I have no doubt had she turned dark she would be pretty scary.  Her desire for revenge and fear of her own nature--driven by genetics or not--were intriguing concepts and I thought she tried to make the most of it in her performance.

Ah Adam Driver.  God bless that man.  He brings his considerable A-game 100% of the time no matter what and it shows.  He could sell sand on Tatooine.  I have no idea why they put the mask back on him other than a marketing department decision as I suspected, but taking it off when he’s making his appeal to Rey before she leaps out to the Falcon carries a gravity few people can pull off.  His reconciliation with Han was one of the film’s highlights.  For once the repetitive nature of the script actually worked in TROS’s favor, as Kylo retraces his steps in that fateful scene from TFA and finds a way to clear his conscience.  I also think this was originally meant to help the audience forgive him, especially since right after this he renounces the dark side.  Which makes later choices baffling, which I’ll get to.  Driver’s shiniest shining moment though is when he is once again Ben Solo.  Deprived of dialogue for the rest of the film other than “ow,” he nevertheless manages to convey a different personality that is very much Han Solo’s son.  His fight scene is right out of a 1970s martial arts movie, imbued with determination and sass.  I want to see a trilogy about THAT guy.

The Reylo scenes are, well, until it goes south, wonderful.  Some of us would’ve  preferred a lot less fighting but I see it as mostly Rey trying to deny herself and Kylo not being sure if he really wants Rey to turn to the dark side.  (On that note, I wish we’d seen Rey’s vision of sharing a throne with Kylo rather than just hear her talk about it.)   As I predicted, the turning point of the relationship came after the lightsaber battle on the Death Star wreckage.  I find it interesting that Kylo hesitates to kill Rey--partially because of his mother’s influence--and it’s she who could’ve killed him.  She immediately recognizes the dark side was turning her into something she didn’t want to be and nearly costs her the man that deep down she loves.  She heals him completely and along with her confession that she would’ve taken Ben’s hand, his soul is nearly healed by the power of love alone.  Which makes the film’s later choices baffling.  If you think about it, Ben’s turn is even more dramatic than Vader’s.  Vader chose his son over the Emperor at the last minute, some inkling of his light still there shining through at the right moment under duress.  Ben flat out rejects the dark side of his own volition.  That is pretty powerful.  Which makes the ending far more painful.

Rey and Ben’s one big romantic moment was tender and sweet and that was a pretty good kiss.  We finally get to see Ben’s big toothy grin.  Even though we all hate it, Driver did an amazing job conveying first his sorrow over Rey, then his relief, his joy, his love, and finally his strength leaving him.

Visually, the film looks great.  I think J.J. did an even better job shooting this film than TFA.  Adding to the visuals is the fabulous art direction.  They hired supervising art director Paul Inglis immediately after his previous flick Blade Runner 2049 came out, and that decision paid off.  This leaves the film with a number of beautifully-rendered scenes, whether it’s the haunted house scary underworld beneath Exogol, Kylo Ren’s starkly white quarters, the landscapes of Pasaana, the stormy seas around the Death Star II’s wreckage, the shot of Rey hesitating in the Star Destroyer’s hangar before leaping out to the Falcon, or Rey meditating among the floating rocks during her introduction.

I liked D-O and Babu Frick.  I even liked the lady who complimented Kylo’s helmet.  

Where do I start having problems?  The first time I saw the movie the scenes with Leia didn’t bother me but the second time I saw it, it was far more apparent they wrote around the bits of footage they had left.  It was a valiant effort to make Carrie Fisher part of the last film she never had the chance to perform in but it didn’t feel organic.  Since Leia dies during the movie anyway, I don’t know why having her pass away offscreen in between TLJ and TROS is less merciful to the audience than having her body lie beneath a sheet for half the film.  No wonder Billie Lourd skipped the premiere of this flick.  I couldn’t take it if it were my mother either.

On my second viewing, the Resistance base scenes started to get on my nerves.  Maybe it’s because I got tired of looking at the same group of like 10 people over and over.  Maybe I was annoyed that the only purpose of those scenes was to earnestly spout exposition.  Now, exposition is important.  I’m surprised Abrams, notorious for not bothering with it even if it’s necessary, even did this much.  But there was something about George Lucas’s Rebel base scenes that made these people look and act like guerrilla soldiers.  Maybe it was Lucas’s experience shooting films with Navy guys as a student, or his documentary style.  Abrams’s Resistance behave more like college students and activists than soldiers.  

But TROS’s biggest problems lie in its breakneck pacing and its writing.  Parts that should’ve had greater emotional resonance don’t because it moves along too fast.  I would’ve sacrificed one of the set pieces/action scenes or chuck one of the pointless new characters for the sake of deepening the relationship between Kylo and Rey or showing us more Ben Solo.

Some of the characterizations seemed off.  I know a lot of fans are deeply unhappy Rose Tico didn’t get to do much but I was surprised to see her in it even to the degree she was there.  What gets me about the whole Rose thing was her relationship with Finn is totally forgotten FOR NO REASON.  Really, why drop it?  There was no narrative purpose for doing so!  

General Hux is totally wasted in this film, reduced to little more than a cameo.  Sure it might be a surprising twist that “I am the spy!!!” (LOL) but his reasons for it are totally OOC.  He might despise Kylo Ren but to the point of helping the Resistance?  This is the guy who cheerfully blew up the Hosnian Prime system and wanted to blow up more.  He’s evil, a psychopath, a true believer in the First Order.  He might give the Resistance a tip that would result in embarrassing Kylo Rey and use that to start a coup against him but just helping the Resistance out of petulance and spite?  Nah.

Poe tries in this film to be a combination of rogue and deadly earnest idealist, but you generally don’t find those two qualities in the same person.  One second he’s talking about smuggling space dope, the next second he’s saying stuff like “Good people will fight if we lead them!”

Finn, God love him, is reduced to largely running around yelling, “Reeeey!” and eagerly trying to tell Rey something but the film never really got around to what it was.  It wasn’t until a Q&A session that Abrams revealed Finn was trying to tell Rey he was Force sensitive (something that should’ve been developed over the course of the trilogy).  Abrams had time to show us a random lesbian kiss for representation points, but no time for Finn to tell Rey he was Force sensitive?  Huh?

The story not only contradicts the previous films--I wonder if Abrams even saw his own movie TFA much less anything else besides the OT--it contradicts itself throughout.  Palpatine’s return is never really explained and his motives with Rey keep changing.  MacGuffins are added on top of MacGuffins with side missions thrown in.  Chewbacca is blown up then he’s miraculously alive on another transport we didn’t see.  Abrams and Chris Terrio didn’t just add to Rey’s origins, they blatantly spackled over it and TLJ’s overall message.  Discovering one is of evil origins is a gothic storytelling trope but really, it should’ve been developed since the first film so it doesn’t feel like whiplash from something else.  Everyone keeps telling Rey don’t be afraid of who you really are, but Rey ultimately does nothing but run from who she really is.  With each reversal, retcon, or contradiction in the film, it leaves a mess.  We’re supposed to believe Rey was better off sold to Unkar Plutt than be with her not-so-bad parents?   Who the bloody hell had sex with Darth Sidious?  You mean to tell me Luke and Leia knew all along Rey was a Palpatine but they never bothered to say anything and somehow they had more confidence in her than in their own flesh and blood?  Oh while we’re at it, I noticed the second time I saw the movie they straight up gave away Ben’s death before it happened!  WTF?  “Leia saw her son’s death at the end of her Jedi path.”  It seems like Luke and Leia were resigned to Ben’s fate as some horrible destiny that couldn’t be changed but Rey was still an open book to them.  That’s so stupid and really fellow OT fans, how does this respect our childhood faves?  Han comes off as the only decent person in this thing.

Rey and Ben taking on the Emperor was a great applause moment, the dyad unified against the ultimate evil.  For the most part it was fantastic...until The Yeetening.  Two things annoy me about the remainder of the conflict against Palpatine.  One, Rey and Ben should have destroyed Palpatine together.  If Rey could do it on her own then what the hell did she need Ben for?  He could’ve sat out the rest of the movie at Starbucks and remained alive while Rey killed Palps on her own.  There’s no point to their combined power because it wasn't necessary.  Two, while poor redeemed I-turned-back-to-the-light Ben was crawling up the pit with no help from anyone, every good guy we ever knew of in Star Wars, even from the cartoons, is giving a voice over pep talk to Rey.  (It seems cheap too since we don’t see the characters.  Avengers Endgame did this kind of thing far better.)  How about if the pep talk was given to the BOTH of them?  That Anakin Skywalker, the man Ben had idolized, had time to say “wakey-wakey” to his tormentor’s granddaughter and not his own grandson is appalling.  The third thing is while Darth Vader defeated Palpatine with the love for his son and his long-gone wife, Rey defeats Palpatine simply with power.  Rey and Ben’s love for each other could’ve been the force that defeats the Sith once and for all but for some reason it doesn’t occur to Abrams and Terrio.

I could’ve forgiven most of this--the jar of Snickles and all--had they got the resolution right.  But they didn’t.

ROTJ and ROTS’s endings were masterful.  ROTJ gives you an idea of what trajectory our heroes were likely to follow:  Han and Leia were going to end up together, Luke was going to bring forth the next generation of Jedi.  ROTS sets up Obi-Wan on Tatooine, Yoda on Dagobah, Leia on Alderaan, Luke on Tatooine, Darth Vader on a Star Destroyer, and poor Padmé on her way to Star Wars Heaven.  I have no idea what happens to Finn.  Maybe he’ll train with Rey.  Maybe he’ll go to college.  Maybe he’ll backpack through Europe.  I have no idea.  His story just stops.  Same deal with Poe.  Aside from getting shot down by Zorii, what’s he going to do?  The film gives zero indication.  It goes from the Free Hugs session to Rey squatting at the old Lars homestead.

The biggest crimes though occur to Ben and Rey.  Ben’s death sucked all of the air out of the film.  Yes, it’s beautiful that Ben loved Rey so much and so selflessly he was willing to surrender his life for hers.     It’s beautiful that it never mattered to Ben who Rey was, whether it was “nobody” in the last movie or the granddaughter of his tormentor/enemy in this one.  Had the Palpatine concept been there all along, there would’ve been something sweet about healing the rift originating in the prequels.  But I wanted Ben to live.  I wanted for once for someone to address the issue of atonement but Terrio and Abrams were too lazy to bother.   If The Grinch could be redeemed AND find atonement with those he wronged in a 30 minute Christmas special with commercials, then why not Ben Solo in a 150-minute movie?  

I could have lived with a sacrifice arc though had it been handled correctly.  But they flubbed it big time.  The sacrifice isn’t honored at all.  He just dies, he vanishes as Leia’s body vanishes, and he’s “never to be seen again.” Or mentioned.  Rey barely reacts on camera.  It’s as though reviving Ben from certain death, choosing good over evil, making a valiant attempt to save his girlfriend armed only with a blaster, and giving his life for hers weren’t valued by anyone.  The movie didn’t give a damn.  When Vader died in ROTJ, he at least had final words with Luke who then burns Vader’s remains on a pyre.  We see Anakin restored to his true self join the Force Ghost crew at the end of the movie.  We got none of this with Ben.

It’s also the most frustrating and disappointing disruption of a romantic arc since 1980′s “Somewhere In Time.”  In that film, Christopher Reeve travels back to 1912 and finds true love with Jane Seymour.  Everything is going great and Reeve’s character has made the choice to stay in that time and marry Seymour.  Then he pulls out a 1979 penny and is sent “back to the future” as Seymour screams.  At least that film though had the decency to reunite the love birds in the afterlife.  Which might explain why the movie still has a cult following to this day.  Tragic love stories always make sure there’s some kind of catharsis for the audience.  Rose takes Jack’s name, lives her life as he asked her to do for him, tells his story, and reunites with him when she dies.  Romeo and Juliet are united in death and the healing of their respective houses begins.  Even Padmé got a state funeral and had the legacy of her children.  There was no such catharsis for Rey and Ben.

Rey ends up right where she started:  alone and in the desert.  She got the Dorothy ending, there’s no place like home.  But the difference is Dorothy is a child not yet ready for the big scary world and the answers to her problems weren’t out there but right where she was.  Rey is a grown woman.  She should’ve been treated like one.  Instead she is deprived of her lover/soulmate and while such a separation should have been painful, it doesn’t even register.  She has a “found family” but they’re not there with her.  She’s in a home others tried to escape from, haunted by ghosts instead of being among those she loves.  Taking the Skywalker name seems tacked on, as though they realized if the name is to live on somebody needed to take it.  Why not then just have made her Han and Leia’s or Luke’s daughter in the first place?  It’s worse when you remember it’s a Palpatine who’s usurping the name.  Or when you realize she’s still hiding who she is.  

Here’s what would’ve been better.  Rey tells the Resistance about the pure selflessness of the Skywalkers and she wants that to be the core value of the new Jedi going forward, where every new student was going to learn their story.  Then we see her anywhere but Tatooine, happy and surrounded by students of all ages.  Maybe Finn training too.  She sees the approving Force ghosts of Leia, Luke, and Anakin.  Then Ben, clearly a different entity, materializes beside her.

Or something, anything other than what we got.

It’s as though they kept making story decisions without giving any thought at all to their implications.  They tried to do too much while being lazy about it.  They went for expedience--copy pasting ROTJ when convenient--over meaning.

The ending accomplishes what no other Star Wars film has done to me in 42 years of being a fan...it broke my heart and fulfilled my worst suspicions about where the ST was going to end up, largely due to its deflating ending and terrible denouement.  It leaves for me and many other fans a big gaping open wound, not closure.  

Ultimately the sequel trilogy’s biggest flaw is that there clearly was no plan.  What we got was a billion dollar game of exquisite cadaver with no real design for characters, their arcs, the story, or even what message these films are supposed to have.  Every decision was based on the director’s own ideas along with corporate meddling.  So we get conflicting ideas and blatant spackling over what the last director didn’t like. Was Kylo Ren meant to be a guy we love to hate or a lost boy we want to come home?   Was Rey a heroine we can all aspire to be or a lost princess of darkness?  What the hell was the point of Finn or Poe?  What does this add to the saga overall aside from more stuff?  Who are these films even for, old OT fans or young fans?  I believe it’s this lack of a plan that has generated so much confusion and bitter internet wars among fandom.